Abnormal
by Katatonia
Summary: BtVSHP ...Well, really AtSHP! Connor's short version of his life, as seen by me. Rated PG13 for very mild mentions of slash. Nothing explicit.


I'm abnormal. Hells, most everyone I live with, and even know, could be considered abnormal by a poll. But as the human son of two vampires, born because of a prophecy, I think I have most people beat hands-down. It's cool, sometimes, what with the superspeed, the advanced hearing and smell that all mean I can keep up with my dad. He's the original souled vampire, and now the CEO of a law firm called Wolfram and Hart. Mom was his sire, and was killed by the Slayer in Sunnydale a couple of years back, but then she was resurrected by the law firm – before Dad joined them – who were then evil, as a human dying of syphilis or something.  
  
She didn't want to die – who does? – And she kept trying to get herself vamped by random people. Dad tried to save her, but just as she decided to stay a human, the evil lawyers kidnapped her and forced her to be turned by Dru, one of Dad's childer. Thing is, that makes Mom my grandmother, my mom and my niece, and that's just plain creepy.  
  
Anyway, she killed herself when she was pregnant with me to save me, and then I was kidnapped a little while later by this guy called Holtz. He got chased into a demon dimension, still with me, called Quortoth. I don't remember any of this, obviously, but it's basically what people have told me. I was raised as his son, taught how to fight demons, plan battle strategies – which actually mostly involved sacrificing most of my allies now I come to think about it.  
  
We came back to this dimension when I was about sixteen, and then he staged his own death, making it look like Angelus had done it. Of course, I had to go and exact revenge on my own father. Tried to kill him a couple of times, and would have succeeded at least once – I locked him in a huge box and chucked him in the ocean. When he came back, he forgave me, just like that. Which, of course, made me feel really guilty, and then I went out and killed a load of demons.  
  
Anyway, after a whole load of stuff, I went kinda crazy. Started taking hostages and demanding that they be nicer to their families. Dad cut a deal with this evil law firm. Basically, they insert me into a 'normal' life, one without any memories of demons or vampires, and they cede the city of LA, including their branch of Wolfram and Hart, and he runs it as CEO. So I was put with this completely human family. Unfortunately that plan kinda blew up – metaphorically – as I still had all my super strength and advanced senses.

To cut a really long story short, I ran into my real dad, and eventually the whole truth came out. I decided to stay with him, and pretty soon my dad's ex-girlfriend's team of evil fighters, the Scoobies, swamped the hotel we lived in. Apparently she, Buffy, is a Slayer, as in, 'one girl in every generation, born to fight the vampires, demons and forces of darkness'. Personally I think it's just an attention-seeking ploy. Anyway, they had been facing down the First Evil in Sunnydale, and had consequently destroyed the entire town. With nowhere else to go, they headed for LA and us. Privately Gunn and I think that they just couldn't be bothered to pay rent.

I know there's only supposed to be one girl in every generation, but someone along the line mucked up, and now every girl with the potential to be a Slayer is. I tend to stay away from them. Something about being the miracle child of two vampires makes the Slayers itchy. The only two I have any contact with are Faith, who helped us before the multi-million Slayer thing, and Buffy, who seems to be taking a more casual attitude now that she hasn't got all that pressure on her.

Buffy's sister, Dawn, is a completely different story. She doesn't have the Slayer power, but she isn't even human. Instead she's this mystical key that can unlock dimensions, which comes in really useful when we're sneaking in after curfew. A portal can be opened up from the front yard of the hotel into our bedrooms, so we don't get caught so easily. We make a pretty good practical joke team actually, moreso now that Spike's back from the dead. He's my dad's grandchilde, which makes him my nephew, I suppose, and he's also Dawn's adopted older brother (on her insistence). Even my family's abnormal!

Anyway, we were asked to go to England to help defeat this cranky old wizard called Moldywart or something. And there I met him. He's abnormal, a bit like me, and his mother died to protect him, like mine did. He also had a huge, extended family, mainly made up of friends and friends of his, now deceased, parents, a bit like me. He's also the sweetest guy I've ever met, and I know Dawn says I sound like a pre-teenaged girl when I talk about him, but I don't care.If there's one thing I've learnt in my abnormal life, it's to take every chance you're offered, and Harry is most definitely a chance that I intend on grabbing with both hands, and possibly a net. I know we probably won't survive to be old and wrinkly, considering the lives full of danger that we both lead, but now is enough for us.He came back to LA with one of his 'friends' and us. Draco Malfoy's not really Harry's friend, but he's related to Spike – through some bizarre and complicated chain – and he fought with us against that Moldy-guy. Dad therefore thinks that makes him all right, especially as whatever Spike, as Dad's remaining vampire childe, wants, Spike seems to get nowadays.I have to go now, as Harry's calling me. We're off to hunt down an Iaculari demon, but it was...nice talking to you. Strange to be hashing up my entire life – the edited version, to be sure – but since when have I been anything but strange? Normal is overrated. Abnormal is much more fun. 


End file.
